Why Condoms Don’t Work, May 6, 2014.

There are many reasons why condoms don’t work but I will name a few. Condoms are held on by friction. There’s no straps or screws to hold them on so they slip off. If there’s more friction on the outside of the condom than on the inside they will slide off. Doctors have many, “the condom came off stories”.

When I went to Macomb College the science teacher said he had some friends that worked in the emergency room at a hospital. And he told the story of a young couple came in and the condom came off and the guy said he looked up there with a flashlight and couldn’t find it. The teacher and even the emergency room doctors just make jokes and laughed at the guy for not knowing what to do when the condom came off inside his girlfriend. Then the teacher didn’t even educate the young students on what to do in this kind of situation so I though the teacher was a real idiot. When the condom comes off I think most doctors would say that the condom will come out on its own with normal cleansing. But that answer is not good because nobody wants a condom inside them and want to wait around for it to come out on its own.

There was the story of the married woman who had an affair. Her husband had a vasectomy and never use a condom. She had an affair with some guy who used a condom but the guy never told her the condom came off. Later she had sex with her husband who found the condom stuck to the end of his penis. It didn’t take him too long to figure out she had an affair and they got a divorce. But this is another reason for abstinence. I don’t think I would ever have sex again it I found a old used condom stuck to the end of my penis from somebody else. Imagine how nasty that would be? I imagine a lot of men lose condoms and never tell the woman.

Imagine a woman going to gynecologists and telling them that their boyfriend last the condom and the gynecologists put in his light on his forehead and looking up there and saying “I don’t see any condom in your vagina” and the woman saying, “oh no Dr. We had anal sex”. While I’m not looking up there, you need to see a proctologist.

Another reason condoms fail if they are perishable like the vegetables in your refrigerator. Every week you have to throw out the old vegetables and buy some new ones. Condoms have an expiry some day. Unfortunately some men keep the same condom in their wallet for five years and when they’re ready to use it moths come out and the condom looks like a piece of Swiss cheese. Men don’t throw out their underwear until they’re full of holes. It don’t bother them if the condom is past its expiry date.

I can’t imagine Bill Maher being so ignorant he didn’t know that condoms come off or that men use them as their expiration date.

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